Breastfeeding

Let's get a bit philosophical, shall we? A thought came over me yesterday evening, and I simply must share how I feel. Where shall I start? Maybe I should just start with what trigger this sudden flood of frustration.

Meeting up with several friends last week, whom I haven't seen since before I gave birth, they were commenting on me not being able to regain my social patterns ever since my kid comes along. Yes, I've been cancelling and postponing get-togethers with friends. Despite what they think, or rather, what you think, it is not because of me not being able to get away due to a clingy kid. I've slowly explained to them that I am still breastfeeding, and I would very much love to be there as much as possible to nurse Shen Liang during his meal times. Although with modern breast pumps, expressing breast milk is no longer a big hassle, I still prefer the age old traditional method, where I can bond with my child, giving him a sense of security, and healthier since breast milk is in its best form when we follow recommended serving suggestion.

So, why the frustration? Not only yesterday, infact, over these few months, whenever I was asked what I feed Shen Liang, a majority of people responded in surprised, if not shocked. Typical responses include:

Starring at my not so generous bossom, and exclaimed, "You got milk?" or "Enough meh?"

"OMG! Breastfeeding still? I thought your kid is several months old already."

"Can breastfeed for so long ah?"

"How long do you still want to breastfeed woh? Not 'sian' meh?"

Obviously, they have forgotten that, during our grandmothers' days, children are breastfed until they are several years old. When asked about their opinions to breastfeeding, this is what I get.

"I also wish to breastfeed, but I got no milk."
This is, of course, not true. Have you heard of a mammal not having milk to feed its young after giving birth to them? I wonder than, if the mammal will hunt around for formula in the jungle or the savana. The point is, breastfeeding is a natural phenomenon. It takes patience and effort. Every woman can breastfeed, unless due to medical conditions, advised by doctor otherwise. Those who are not aware of this point, and hasn't been breastfeeding due to this believe, should attempt at least one of the following when your next child comes along.

1. Consult your obstetrician or lactation consultant. (They are the people with the most experience, and being medical practicioners, they will be able to advise you soundly.)

2. Read parenting guides. (Guide books are written for your guidance, therefore, use them as such.)

3. Attend antenatal classes. (You think you know all there is to know about childbirth, but you are wrong. Eight out of 10 people I met does not even know what is epidural, and that it exists. To them, the only painless childbirth method is to be knocked out for a C-section.)

"My child is breastfed. I breastfeed throughout my confinement."
Look here missy, breastfeeding for one month is like giving you only appetiser for dinner. The first six months are the most important months throughout an infant's development. If you are not able to commit to breastfeeding for one or two years, do it at least for six months.

"Breastfeeding causes my breasts to sag."
There's no substantial prove to this claim. Even if it is true, being a mother, wouldn't you think that your child's well-being and health is above your vanity? However, different people has different priorities, therefore, it would not be fair for me to further comment.

"I'm working."
There's a thing call BREAST PUMP, and I must say, throughout the years, it has developed to be more efficient, convenient and time saving. Different pumps are also available for rental should you wish to try out before investing in a good one.

"Good breast pumps are expensive."
No comments. Again, this is based on one's priorities.

"Too much hassle."
Yet again, no comments. It is not fair to assume that everyone has the same priority to breastfeeding.

Breastmilk is best for your child because:

1. It has the highest content of nutrients known, and to date, the best supplement created is still not able to replace the goodness of breastmilk.

2. It is the most suitable food for your child, in terms of the necessary nutrician, digestion and taste, because breastmilk changes with your child's needs over the months. It is custom produced for your child alone.

3. Breastfed babies have a higher immune system and less prone to infections.

4. Breast milk plays an important role in aiding brain development, in simple words, there are high chances that breastfed kids are smarter, kiasu parents might want to take note of this.

5. Breastfeeding creates a bond between you and your child that only the both of you can understand. The feeling is difficult to put in words, you will have to experience it for yourself. It is very intensed. I've been doing it for four months now, and I still get the special feeling. Bottle-feed doesn't count, ok?

And I am sure there are many more benefits to your child.

If you are still hesitating at sacrificing some of your time, effort, patience and vanity for your child, think what breastfeeding can do for you:

1. It lowers the chance of pre-menopausal breast cancer if you breastfeed for more than six months.

2. Breastfeeding speed up contraction, therefore you will fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes in no time.

3. Lighten your diaper bag during trips out with your infant. You may exclude formula, hot water in a heavy vacuum flask and feeding bottles.

4. Cost saving. A good 500gm tin of formula costs RM57 in Malaysia. A full formula fed baby consumes one such tin a week. Baby can run up five tins of formula a month. You do the maths. With that amount, you can buy three sets of the most expensive breast pump in the market.

And there's more. But till now, I haven't really thought about any of it. As I might have mentioned before, I am committed to breastfeeding for my baby, not myself.

Of course, to only paint you a good picture of breastfeeding would be misleading. A mother has to put up with a few bother thoughout the breastfeeding period. For example:

1. I eat three full meals a day, and four snacks in between, even if I am not hungry or lack of appetite. And no room for irresponsible indulgence, best foods for breastfeeding are carbs and fish protein. I can't remember the last time I consume coffee, Earl Grey, chocolate, carbonated drinks, and anything else with caffeine or alcohol. I am also very careful with medication, and sometimes endure a longer recovery from illnesses because I simply cannot risk taking strong medicines.

2. No sexy, lacy, underwired maximiser bras. Ever since delivery, I have been wearing very unattractive nursing bras. :(

3. I express milk in the office two to three times a day, and since I do not have my own office, I express milk in the toilet which is fairly common for working breastfeeding mums. However, unlike most of you, I do not work in a multi national where there are air-conditioned toilets with pipe in music and soft lighting. I work in a 50-year-old chinapek building where there's not even a sitting toilet bowl.

4. Also, unlike most of you, I do not have the luxury of a super long maternity leave or better still, be a stay at home mum. I went back to work one month after delivery. Not that I have a cruel boss, but when you are in a family business, you take every responsibility and make every decision seriously. The "I don't care" or "Take things easy" attitude has no opportunity to exist. Of course, with some planning, I find time to pop home to see Shen Liang once or twice a day, which is a delight.

5. I cannot make plans to my whim and fancy anymore. My schedule now revolves around Shen Liang's feeding time and the time to express milk. However, I don't find any problem with late nights since I am a late-night-person, but the early mornings are quite an effort. ;)

6. My job requires me to travel quite a bit. I now travel with my breast pump, milk storage bottles, an ice box and cooling pack. Anyway, I am pulling in some resources so that I can afford a good twin electronic breast pump. I think I should be able to afford it by next month. Then I can expect shorter cycle time and higher productivity. :)

I am sure these are not the worst situations, I am sure some mothers sacrifice more, and I must salute them. As a first time mother, I am learning, one step at a time. However, at times, I am still rather emotional, could be my own doing or I can blame it on my hormones (yes, they have gone haywire since delivery, and especially when I am still breastfeeding). There was an occasion where a relation scolded me for doing this to myself; the hassles, the bothers, the inconveniences. She said I need not go through any of these if I just stop breastfeeding, since majority of children grow up without breastmilk and formula today has a lot of goodness in them. If she is in my position, she would have stopped breastfeeding a long time ago. I was very hurt by this statement, especially I did not complain at all, and this opinion is not asked for. I cannot tolerate myself to be judged when I know I am doing the right thing, and the person who judged is ignorant. I think I need to start controlling my emotions to avoid more of such statements upsetting me, if not for my sake, then for Shen Liang's sake, since unhappy mummy produce not so good quality milk.

However, I need to apologise if my views upset anyone. I feel a need to share my feelings. One cannot simply win a breastfeeding essay competition without feeling passionate about breastfeeding.